It has been too long since my last post. My brothers health has taken a turn for the worse and I have been consumed. The next few weeks will be tough. His 41 year old life is on the line. The University of MN is assembling a team of surgical specialists to try and remove a very large tumor that has attached itself to many organs, muscles, nerves and tissues. It was explained to us that it has to come out in one piece or they will not remove it and it will kill him (because if they cut it, it will kill him). The doctors said to think of it like a baby...you wouldn't dissect it. IF they can remove it in one piece, they will have to microwave (cook) part of his liver and maybe remove some nerves that will affect his mobility (leg braces). Right now I haven't given much thought to this study....I know I agreed to participate and will do my best BUT my family will always be more important and take a front seat to everything I do.
One particular thing I have noticed is that I am not eating. I eat about one meal a day...this is strictly due to stress. I found it interesting that when I was having my psych eval, the doctor wanted me to talk about my addiction to food and how I handled stress. It kind of seemed like every thin person in the world is so sure that "fat" people eat all the time and we eat when we are stressed. I know that that just isn't true and I went head to head with the doctor on this issue. She wanted me to admit that I turned to food to cope...I don't. I am overweight because I have spent my life eating what I wanted whenever I wanted. I also ate more than I should have and as the weight crept on over the years, I was too busy to really notice. I mean, I knew but I just pushed it out of my mind. My weight had no obvious impact on my life. I got the jobs I wanted ( I am unemployed by choice...I quit my job in Jan). I have had a man love me for the last 2o years (I am about 100 lbs heavier than when we met) and he still makes me feel desired and beautiful. I have amazing friends and a great family. I just now realize the importance of overall health and am choosing to prevent problems and be as healthy as I can. I owe it to myself and to the people who love me.
Hello and Thanks to my new "followers"...I appreciate your positive words and advice!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Mar 30, 2009
I have become a nomad...I left my brothers house to go to my friends house for a week. They are vacationing in Florida and I am watching the house and pets. Being on the run and away from home for such long periods of time means I have to really prepare and think about what I am eating. I bring my own food where ever I go so that I have no excuses for not sticking to a healthy eating regiment. I am walking Harley (their dog) everyday and my friend gave me her key to their fitness center so I will be trying to get in a daily work out while I am here.
My friend is paying me to do this and I only accept the money because I have been unemployed since Jan 6th so I have decided to strip the wall paper (2 layers!!!) in her kitchen and paint it an amazing shade of red. (this is something she has wanted to do for sometime) I am hoping with the increased activity that I will see the numbers start to move in the right direction. I haven't weighed myself because I haven't been home so I want to wait until my 3 month in 2 weeks to see my progress.
Since all of this has began, I have started becoming far more accountable for everything I eat. Eating things that have nutritional value, making better decisions, cutting back on portions and eating actual servings, drinking lots of water, sleeping 7-8 hours nightly, stepping up my activity, meal planning and logging everything! I feel like everyday I am aware of everything I am eating and before any of this started I just did and ate what I wanted. I thought I was making good decisions but obviously I was not. I have allowed the lbs to creep up on me over the years and never really gave it another thought. I do not want my lifestyle of over indulgence and inactivity to continue. I see first hand how that has such a negative impact on your over all health and your ability to fight off diseases. My father lived his life very much the same way I have lived mine and it has a price. He cannot have a higher does of chemo because his obesity has caused other complications and the doctors feel it would do more harm than good right now. I think that that is too high a price to pay.
My friend is paying me to do this and I only accept the money because I have been unemployed since Jan 6th so I have decided to strip the wall paper (2 layers!!!) in her kitchen and paint it an amazing shade of red. (this is something she has wanted to do for sometime) I am hoping with the increased activity that I will see the numbers start to move in the right direction. I haven't weighed myself because I haven't been home so I want to wait until my 3 month in 2 weeks to see my progress.
Since all of this has began, I have started becoming far more accountable for everything I eat. Eating things that have nutritional value, making better decisions, cutting back on portions and eating actual servings, drinking lots of water, sleeping 7-8 hours nightly, stepping up my activity, meal planning and logging everything! I feel like everyday I am aware of everything I am eating and before any of this started I just did and ate what I wanted. I thought I was making good decisions but obviously I was not. I have allowed the lbs to creep up on me over the years and never really gave it another thought. I do not want my lifestyle of over indulgence and inactivity to continue. I see first hand how that has such a negative impact on your over all health and your ability to fight off diseases. My father lived his life very much the same way I have lived mine and it has a price. He cannot have a higher does of chemo because his obesity has caused other complications and the doctors feel it would do more harm than good right now. I think that that is too high a price to pay.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
March 26, 2009
I have been staying with my brother for the past few days and preparing meals for him and my nephews. The kids are really picky eaters and if given the opportunity would eat junk all day. I am trying to give them balanced meals but it isn't always easy. There is a supply of junk food here...I guess when you have pre-teen boys..chips, Twinkies and cookies are the norm. For myself, I am trying to watch all the snacking that can come so easy with all the temptations around. I have done okay and have noticed that one cookie here and one cookie there is adding a lot to my caloric intake.
The nutritionist finally called me and said that her call was long over due. We talked for a while about my food logging. She said that besides www.thedailyplate.com (soon changing to www.livestrong.com) that I should check out www.fitday.com. She told me that I should be around 1600 calories per day for a 1-2 lb weight loss per week. I said that I was really close to that amount...some days slightly more, other days slightly less. I thought I would see a more marked weight loss by now and she stated that it is typical for the body to "hang on" before it starts to shed lbs because it is confused by the drop in calories. I did tell her that I have cheated several times and consumed certain foods before I was suppose to. I openly admitted to trying to test my body with prohibited foods to see if I could indeed tell whether or not I had the TOGA. She laughed and said that I am not alone and they kind of expected this due to the nature of the study and human behavior. One point she made was to limit my carbs. Of course, I LOVE my bread, rice, pasta etc BUT I should focus more on lean proteins, veggies and fruits.......unprocessed foods. Really haven't we known this along...consume foods as closely to their original state....whole foods, natural. Well, I certainly am trying :) I now have my meals with the carbs and starches in way smaller portions than before and increase veggie serving and actually consume the proper serving for meat. PTS, my meals usually consisted of double meat and carbs (rice/potato/pasta) and small vegetable portions. I live in MN and fresh veggies/fruit are not so readily available due to climate. But spring is right around the corner (I hope...last week it was 70 degrees and yesterday it snowed and dropped below 30) The farmers markets are awesome and home grown tomatoes are one of life's greatest pleasures...I can and do make meals on tomatoes!
Although I no longer consume Diet Coke, I still have my daily dose of OJ. It is 120 calories I factor in and am not ready to give up. I do know that it is very easy to drink a lot of calories through juice and it is one thing I know I did before the study. Now I drink lots and lots of water. I do still drink a glass of OJ everyday but it is one serving rather than 3-4 and I factor in the 120 calories. I am printing up my food logs for the nutritionist to evaluate and make any adjustments or suggestions and am going to met with her at my 3 month check up in 2 weeks.
I am hoping for some good numbers in loss!
The nutritionist finally called me and said that her call was long over due. We talked for a while about my food logging. She said that besides www.thedailyplate.com (soon changing to www.livestrong.com) that I should check out www.fitday.com. She told me that I should be around 1600 calories per day for a 1-2 lb weight loss per week. I said that I was really close to that amount...some days slightly more, other days slightly less. I thought I would see a more marked weight loss by now and she stated that it is typical for the body to "hang on" before it starts to shed lbs because it is confused by the drop in calories. I did tell her that I have cheated several times and consumed certain foods before I was suppose to. I openly admitted to trying to test my body with prohibited foods to see if I could indeed tell whether or not I had the TOGA. She laughed and said that I am not alone and they kind of expected this due to the nature of the study and human behavior. One point she made was to limit my carbs. Of course, I LOVE my bread, rice, pasta etc BUT I should focus more on lean proteins, veggies and fruits.......unprocessed foods. Really haven't we known this along...consume foods as closely to their original state....whole foods, natural. Well, I certainly am trying :) I now have my meals with the carbs and starches in way smaller portions than before and increase veggie serving and actually consume the proper serving for meat. PTS, my meals usually consisted of double meat and carbs (rice/potato/pasta) and small vegetable portions. I live in MN and fresh veggies/fruit are not so readily available due to climate. But spring is right around the corner (I hope...last week it was 70 degrees and yesterday it snowed and dropped below 30) The farmers markets are awesome and home grown tomatoes are one of life's greatest pleasures...I can and do make meals on tomatoes!
Although I no longer consume Diet Coke, I still have my daily dose of OJ. It is 120 calories I factor in and am not ready to give up. I do know that it is very easy to drink a lot of calories through juice and it is one thing I know I did before the study. Now I drink lots and lots of water. I do still drink a glass of OJ everyday but it is one serving rather than 3-4 and I factor in the 120 calories. I am printing up my food logs for the nutritionist to evaluate and make any adjustments or suggestions and am going to met with her at my 3 month check up in 2 weeks.
I am hoping for some good numbers in loss!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
March 22, 2009
Ok...maybe I had the TOGA...I AM SOOOO CONFUSED! In the past few days, I have been experiencing some abnormal feelings in my stomach. There is a sense of pressure that I have never experienced before.
Yesterday was my Dad's big 60th birthday party and the event was catered. I arrived 2 hours early so I could decorate the hall. I grabbed a piece of bread and 2 pieces of cheese on my way out the door (around 11:30). Dinner was served buffet style and I put salad on 1/2 the plate and put turkey, veggies and stuffing on the other half. The plate was not crowded or heavy but I didn't measure my food either. I ate it...no big deal. Around 9 pm (5-6 hours after I ate at the party) we were at my Dad's house dividing up the left overs amongst us kids. We decided to warm up some and have some more to eat. I made up a small plate of turkey, stuffing and veggies and didn't think anything of it. When I got home and went to bed around 11:30, I noticed a tightening in my stomach and felt some pressure. I was excited because I thought that if today was the first time I ate more than I should have then is this the TOGA reacting to eating a full size meal? HMMMM? I just thought that because I had no reaction to eating 4 bites to something that I didn't have it. But what if i did? I really am no longer certain that I didn't have it. I really thought that it would be sooooo easy for me to tell the difference but it isn't.
Yesterday, my father was very late for his party. He went into the hospital in the morning due to some more complications with his brain cancer. His wife was able to work a deal with the docs. They would let him attend on the condition that he was returned to the hospital after his party. Everyone in attendance was so happy to see him when he arrived. There were many tears but lots of joy as well. We were celebrating his life and he is amazing!
Well, I ended up sleeping 12 hours last night. I cannot remember the last time that happened. Today, I went to the hospital and brought Dad some left overs. I ate another plate of left overs but was ale to measure it out. I had 1/4 cup stuffing, 1 cup veggies and 1/4 cup turkey for dinner. Brunch was a piece of bread, a piece of cheese and a sausage link. I split a piece of lemon cake with my Dad as well. As this food was prepared by a caterer, I have no way to calculate the caloric intake BUT, I did step on the scale this morning and I see the number going down. I do not want to get my hopes up BUT I think the scale is slowly creeping in the right direction..... DOWN!
I am having to prepare for sometime away from home right now. I am leaving tomorrow to go and take care of my brother. Yesterday, after attending my Dad's party, my brother who is battling Stage 4 colon cancer and malignant fistula (a rare cancer and complication of colon cancer), was so fatigued that he "fainted" 3 times and injured himself. So I am going to stay with him and watch over him. I will be faced with the challenges of feeding 3 boys...all fussy eaters! Alex (12), Sean (9) and my brother Scott (41). It is difficult to prepare healthy meals that they will agree on. This is probably the hardest part for me.....taking care of every one else and letting my needs fall by the wayside. I MUST make the time for meal planning, measuring and calorie counting.
Yesterday was my Dad's big 60th birthday party and the event was catered. I arrived 2 hours early so I could decorate the hall. I grabbed a piece of bread and 2 pieces of cheese on my way out the door (around 11:30). Dinner was served buffet style and I put salad on 1/2 the plate and put turkey, veggies and stuffing on the other half. The plate was not crowded or heavy but I didn't measure my food either. I ate it...no big deal. Around 9 pm (5-6 hours after I ate at the party) we were at my Dad's house dividing up the left overs amongst us kids. We decided to warm up some and have some more to eat. I made up a small plate of turkey, stuffing and veggies and didn't think anything of it. When I got home and went to bed around 11:30, I noticed a tightening in my stomach and felt some pressure. I was excited because I thought that if today was the first time I ate more than I should have then is this the TOGA reacting to eating a full size meal? HMMMM? I just thought that because I had no reaction to eating 4 bites to something that I didn't have it. But what if i did? I really am no longer certain that I didn't have it. I really thought that it would be sooooo easy for me to tell the difference but it isn't.
Yesterday, my father was very late for his party. He went into the hospital in the morning due to some more complications with his brain cancer. His wife was able to work a deal with the docs. They would let him attend on the condition that he was returned to the hospital after his party. Everyone in attendance was so happy to see him when he arrived. There were many tears but lots of joy as well. We were celebrating his life and he is amazing!
Well, I ended up sleeping 12 hours last night. I cannot remember the last time that happened. Today, I went to the hospital and brought Dad some left overs. I ate another plate of left overs but was ale to measure it out. I had 1/4 cup stuffing, 1 cup veggies and 1/4 cup turkey for dinner. Brunch was a piece of bread, a piece of cheese and a sausage link. I split a piece of lemon cake with my Dad as well. As this food was prepared by a caterer, I have no way to calculate the caloric intake BUT, I did step on the scale this morning and I see the number going down. I do not want to get my hopes up BUT I think the scale is slowly creeping in the right direction..... DOWN!
I am having to prepare for sometime away from home right now. I am leaving tomorrow to go and take care of my brother. Yesterday, after attending my Dad's party, my brother who is battling Stage 4 colon cancer and malignant fistula (a rare cancer and complication of colon cancer), was so fatigued that he "fainted" 3 times and injured himself. So I am going to stay with him and watch over him. I will be faced with the challenges of feeding 3 boys...all fussy eaters! Alex (12), Sean (9) and my brother Scott (41). It is difficult to prepare healthy meals that they will agree on. This is probably the hardest part for me.....taking care of every one else and letting my needs fall by the wayside. I MUST make the time for meal planning, measuring and calorie counting.
Friday, March 20, 2009
March 20, 2009.... Enough with the Negativity!
I do not know who this "redfischblufish" person is but if you are following my blog I will assume that you are a participant in this study. First of all, I am taking this study seriously. If you are on it and can follow all the guide-lines to perfection, kudos to you. Obviously, you were able to follow all the rules set forth in the numerous diets you've tried but somehow didn't achieve the desired results so you ended up here, right? Really, why are you here? If you can follow all the rules, why do you need to be involved? I am participating in this study because after years and years of dieting, I have admitted that I cannot. I am committed whole heartedly to everything at first and then life gets in the way and I have a tendency to let myself and my needs fall to the way side while I take care of everyone else. I realized that I needed to do something and thought this was the way to help me make the changes I needed to in order to be successful. And I have made changes but I am not perfect and I put it out there. What I do not appreciate is people that feel the need to post comments on my blog that are negative and critical. If you lack the intelligence to properly read and interpret what I am saying and you lack the morality of a decent human being, don't post a comment, you and your opinion are insignificant. And if you don't have a blog for others to follow, it just means your a coward and bully who derives pleasure by attacking people because they themselves cannot face the truth.
I created this blog to share my experiences (the good, the bad and the ugly) with people in this study and to SUPPORT them. I also find it cathartic to post my failures and small victories. I am being HONEST.
I strongly believe I am a member of the control group. First of all, I have had my appetite back for about a month and can consume regular portion controlled amounts with no real effects. Secondly, I have spent all of 10 minutes with my doctor since the surgery and he only wanted to know how I felt. I have not had a meeting with a nutritionist or study nurse since my surgery. No one has asked me about my diet or anything. They handed me a booklet in the hospital and sent me home. The nutritionist who met with me in the hospital thought I had gastric bypass and was confused when I explained that I had a TOGA procedure. She didn't know anything about the diet and just proceeded with the gastric by pass diet information. I am going to make an assumption that if I had the procedure, I would be monitored and guided much more closely. As a member of the control group, I am not expected to make the same weight loss goals as the people who actually received the TOGA. I am, however, expected to strive for them. If everyone in the study is successful and we all meet the goals then the study is a failure and will not pass because it fails to show the success of the implementation of the device. I do not suspect that because I ate a piece of toast or some watery oatmeal before I was suppose to that I just compromised the entire study.
I have made HUGE changes in my life and eating habits since becoming involved. I now eat 3 meals a day (before, I rarely ate breakfast), I mostly drink water (prior to the study I consumed about 10 cans of Diet Coke daily), I measure, count and log my food. I am committed to making these permanent life-style changes so that when the 12 months are up I will be better prepared to receive the TOGA.
I created this blog to share my experiences (the good, the bad and the ugly) with people in this study and to SUPPORT them. I also find it cathartic to post my failures and small victories. I am being HONEST.
I strongly believe I am a member of the control group. First of all, I have had my appetite back for about a month and can consume regular portion controlled amounts with no real effects. Secondly, I have spent all of 10 minutes with my doctor since the surgery and he only wanted to know how I felt. I have not had a meeting with a nutritionist or study nurse since my surgery. No one has asked me about my diet or anything. They handed me a booklet in the hospital and sent me home. The nutritionist who met with me in the hospital thought I had gastric bypass and was confused when I explained that I had a TOGA procedure. She didn't know anything about the diet and just proceeded with the gastric by pass diet information. I am going to make an assumption that if I had the procedure, I would be monitored and guided much more closely. As a member of the control group, I am not expected to make the same weight loss goals as the people who actually received the TOGA. I am, however, expected to strive for them. If everyone in the study is successful and we all meet the goals then the study is a failure and will not pass because it fails to show the success of the implementation of the device. I do not suspect that because I ate a piece of toast or some watery oatmeal before I was suppose to that I just compromised the entire study.
I have made HUGE changes in my life and eating habits since becoming involved. I now eat 3 meals a day (before, I rarely ate breakfast), I mostly drink water (prior to the study I consumed about 10 cans of Diet Coke daily), I measure, count and log my food. I am committed to making these permanent life-style changes so that when the 12 months are up I will be better prepared to receive the TOGA.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
1 Month Weigh In....
Today I went in for my 1 month (actually 5 week) weigh in. My results...nothing, zip, zilch, nada!
I neither lost nor gained any weight. Very frustrating but my fault completely. I haven't exercised more than 3 times in 2 weeks and have fallen into some old familiar patterns. Right after surgery (?) I was counting calories and measuring food and logging it everyday. But for the past 2 weeks I haven't been quite as committed. Today was definitely a wake up call to get back on track and really try to make permanent and positive changes.
I was told by the doctor today that IF the study proves to be successful (significant weight loss and little complications) and if I still meet the criteria (?)then I would have the opportunity to receive the procedure IF I was a member of the control. This wasn't really news to me but for the first time it dawned on me that there is a chance that the TOGA could fail as a new method for weight loss surgery. I never really considered that the TOGA may not be approved. I would hate to think that I went through all of this for nothing. After I told the doctor that I was convinced that I did not have the actual surgery he said that I shouldn't be so sure because some people who have had the surgery are positive they have not and some people who have not had the surgery are sure that they have. Is this some kind of psych out? Mind over Matter thing? Perhaps, but I can only go by what I feel and how my body has responded.
So, if every cloud has a silver lining what is the positive in this situation? Weight loss? Eating better? Accountability? Maybe....
I neither lost nor gained any weight. Very frustrating but my fault completely. I haven't exercised more than 3 times in 2 weeks and have fallen into some old familiar patterns. Right after surgery (?) I was counting calories and measuring food and logging it everyday. But for the past 2 weeks I haven't been quite as committed. Today was definitely a wake up call to get back on track and really try to make permanent and positive changes.
I was told by the doctor today that IF the study proves to be successful (significant weight loss and little complications) and if I still meet the criteria (?)then I would have the opportunity to receive the procedure IF I was a member of the control. This wasn't really news to me but for the first time it dawned on me that there is a chance that the TOGA could fail as a new method for weight loss surgery. I never really considered that the TOGA may not be approved. I would hate to think that I went through all of this for nothing. After I told the doctor that I was convinced that I did not have the actual surgery he said that I shouldn't be so sure because some people who have had the surgery are positive they have not and some people who have not had the surgery are sure that they have. Is this some kind of psych out? Mind over Matter thing? Perhaps, but I can only go by what I feel and how my body has responded.
So, if every cloud has a silver lining what is the positive in this situation? Weight loss? Eating better? Accountability? Maybe....
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
March 10, 2009
It has been an awful past week...first, my brother ends back up in the hospital with further complications to his colon cancer and my father is also admitted with complications to his brain cancer. My sister and I have been living at 2 different hospitals for a week. I have been consumed with their medical treatments, tests, diagnoses, expectations and the like that I know I have taken a back seat to my needs. It is so easy to get lost amongst all of this. The first few days, I didn't do very well with planning meals. I didn't overeat but I wasn't eating properly either. The hospital that my father is at, has a cafe that actually shows all the nutritional info on the items from the grill. This helped and I would normally have some squash and veggies and a small salad to keep the meal under 500 calories. After a couple days of this, I began to pack food from home. I would often make salmon and/or chicken with rice and veggies. My father hated the hospital food so I would make enough for him and since he was on a strict diet, I would have to make sure that the food I prepared for us to eat was both diabetic and heart healthy.
I have pretty much come to terms with the fact that I didn't receive the procedure and that I am a member of the control group. I can eat a meal and not feel anything. That doesn't mean that I do not make efforts because I am trying very hard to track what I eat and make every effort to eat right and exercise (not a lot but I am working on that). Though I am disappointed, I will stay on the study because I will have the option to have the procedure when it is completed and maybe I will be in a better position health wise (mentally, as well) to maximize the benefits of the TOGA.
I have pretty much come to terms with the fact that I didn't receive the procedure and that I am a member of the control group. I can eat a meal and not feel anything. That doesn't mean that I do not make efforts because I am trying very hard to track what I eat and make every effort to eat right and exercise (not a lot but I am working on that). Though I am disappointed, I will stay on the study because I will have the option to have the procedure when it is completed and maybe I will be in a better position health wise (mentally, as well) to maximize the benefits of the TOGA.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
March 1, 2009
My sister and I are taking my Dad out for his Birthday today. He wants to go to the casino. We have some free meal passes, we can go to the buffet or Ribbons. I said, I can't go to a buffet! It makes no sense to do that. So we agreed on Ribbons. I will have some soup with some sort of fish....lobster bisque, perhaps?
Before we go to the casino, we are stopping at my friend Lisa's so she can shave my father's head. Since his radiation treatments have left him with patches of stringy hair, we figured it was time.
I have been monitoring my weight at home daily and it looks like since my weigh in on Friday, I am down another 2.5 lbs! Yeah! One thing I have learned is that you have to eat slowly and measure out your food. This is critical because you DO NOT FEEL FULL for a while after you eat and if you eat until you feel full, it is too late! Then you become quite uncomfortable...no pain just discomfort. I think this is where you can risk the stretching of the pouch so I want to make sure I keep it as small as possible. The doctors have told me that you have 1 year to achieve maximum weight loss so try very hard to make the most of that time. Good advice! After 1 year you begin to stabilize. This is a great motivator....if I can lose 75-100 lbs in one year I will be very happy. The first person who received the procedure has lost 50 lbs in 9 months. She openly admits to eating very badly around the holidays for 2 months and not losing (or gaining) any weight (her blog is www.thetogadiaries.blogspot.com). The holidays are always a challenge for everyone....there are just too many parties with too much food and drink. My family and friends are awesome and will make the adjustments needed to help me through it.
I made low fat brownie cupcakes last night and I ate one...this is great! Normally, I would eat 2 or 3. I sent some off to work with Manny today and will send the rest home with my Dad. Why keep temptation around?
Before we go to the casino, we are stopping at my friend Lisa's so she can shave my father's head. Since his radiation treatments have left him with patches of stringy hair, we figured it was time.
I have been monitoring my weight at home daily and it looks like since my weigh in on Friday, I am down another 2.5 lbs! Yeah! One thing I have learned is that you have to eat slowly and measure out your food. This is critical because you DO NOT FEEL FULL for a while after you eat and if you eat until you feel full, it is too late! Then you become quite uncomfortable...no pain just discomfort. I think this is where you can risk the stretching of the pouch so I want to make sure I keep it as small as possible. The doctors have told me that you have 1 year to achieve maximum weight loss so try very hard to make the most of that time. Good advice! After 1 year you begin to stabilize. This is a great motivator....if I can lose 75-100 lbs in one year I will be very happy. The first person who received the procedure has lost 50 lbs in 9 months. She openly admits to eating very badly around the holidays for 2 months and not losing (or gaining) any weight (her blog is www.thetogadiaries.blogspot.com). The holidays are always a challenge for everyone....there are just too many parties with too much food and drink. My family and friends are awesome and will make the adjustments needed to help me through it.
I made low fat brownie cupcakes last night and I ate one...this is great! Normally, I would eat 2 or 3. I sent some off to work with Manny today and will send the rest home with my Dad. Why keep temptation around?
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Feb 28, 2009
Today I have tried to do some menu planning for the week. This should help me make really good choices. It isn't always easy for me to follow the rules. So perhaps a bit more planning will reduce my chances for slips :) Obviously, I slip a lot when following diets or I wouldn't have needed such a drastic measure. Let's face it...will power and discipline is something I lack. I think none of us would be here (in the study) if we could have said "NO" more often to poor food choices and "YES" to smaller portions and healthier meals. It seems that everyday is a constant struggle when dealing with obesity....we have to eat no matter what. It isn't like we are alcoholics and can choose never to drink again. We need food to live.
All the diet programs in the world have failed for me. Or rather, I have failed them. I always do well in the beginning and lose weight and then I just seem to stop trying (caring?). I regain the weight and then some. It seems I had to stop dieting just to stabilize my weight. I just began to accept the fact that I may never be at a "normal" body weight. I have no health problems (other than being over weight)...low blood pressure, low cholesterol, no diabetes, no medications for anything....I am just fat.
When I came across the study, it seemed to be a great opportunity for me to get the right kind of help to control my weight and eating. I knew that I was healthy now but as I got older, the excess weight would begin to negatively impact my body. It was time for me to act...Carpe Diem!
Health really became important for me after helping my brother through his long battle with colon cancer. And even more important now that my father is terminally ill at 59. Your body is all you have...keep it healthy, feed it right and LIVE!
All the diet programs in the world have failed for me. Or rather, I have failed them. I always do well in the beginning and lose weight and then I just seem to stop trying (caring?). I regain the weight and then some. It seems I had to stop dieting just to stabilize my weight. I just began to accept the fact that I may never be at a "normal" body weight. I have no health problems (other than being over weight)...low blood pressure, low cholesterol, no diabetes, no medications for anything....I am just fat.
When I came across the study, it seemed to be a great opportunity for me to get the right kind of help to control my weight and eating. I knew that I was healthy now but as I got older, the excess weight would begin to negatively impact my body. It was time for me to act...Carpe Diem!
Health really became important for me after helping my brother through his long battle with colon cancer. And even more important now that my father is terminally ill at 59. Your body is all you have...keep it healthy, feed it right and LIVE!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Feb 27, 2009
I just received a serious critique from Michelle....thanks for the input. Your right! I haven't been true to the rules and part of that was in search of finding the answer to whether or not I have had the procedure. Curiosity kills the cat!
I don't know where you are located but when I met with the nutritionist we went over my food intake and bread and meat are allowed. 2 days after surgery I could begin with pureed soft foods and 1 week after that really food but nothing too hard. I was also instructed to seek out most calories in the form of proteins...salmon, tuna, turkey. Breads have to be toasted, softer crackers are OK. I wonder if we are all on the same type of diet restrictions (ie: people who have had the procedure vs people who have not)...this is after all a study.
Congrats to you on your weight loss! Is that 12 lbs in 5 days???? Where are you located? Do you have a blog I can follow? Please share your story!
I don't know where you are located but when I met with the nutritionist we went over my food intake and bread and meat are allowed. 2 days after surgery I could begin with pureed soft foods and 1 week after that really food but nothing too hard. I was also instructed to seek out most calories in the form of proteins...salmon, tuna, turkey. Breads have to be toasted, softer crackers are OK. I wonder if we are all on the same type of diet restrictions (ie: people who have had the procedure vs people who have not)...this is after all a study.
Congrats to you on your weight loss! Is that 12 lbs in 5 days???? Where are you located? Do you have a blog I can follow? Please share your story!
Feb 27, 2009
I did it! I lost 10lbs! Couldn't believe it...yeah! I really was surprised....pleasantly!
So my follow up was pretty brief and quite easy. I absolutely forgot to ask all the questions I wanted...I was too dumbfounded from my TEN POUND WEIGHT LOSS!
One thing I was told is that the people who received the surgery lost about 20 lbs in the first month...so if I lost 10 in 2 weeks, does that mean I had the procedure??? HMMMM?
One little thing I discovered kinda by accident was a diet version of the banana split. I cut up 6 strawberries, some banana and pineapple topped it with a few squirts of redi-whip and drizzled it in chocolate syrup (1 tbsp) and sprinkled walnuts over everything. IT WAS DELICIOUS and under 300 calories and little fat.
I also discovered ground turkey mixed with salsa (1 lb to 1 jar) lay on a bed of lettuce, top with cheese and sour cream (uncrunchy taco salad). If you need the crunch, use 2 taco shells (120 calories instead of high fat high calorie tortilla chips). I sometimes add refried or plain black beans. Good stuff!
I am trying to change my mind about food, be accountable by tracking what I eat and moving my overinflated booty :) By the way, if you hate exercising, try Wii Fit! It is FUN! It is an investment (I bought mine off craigs list and saved $) I also bought a Learn to Salsa Dance video. So far it's working. If the TOGA is only 1 leg in my tripod of success, then I must incorporate the other 2 legs...diet and exercise. Without them, the tripod will not work!
So my follow up was pretty brief and quite easy. I absolutely forgot to ask all the questions I wanted...I was too dumbfounded from my TEN POUND WEIGHT LOSS!
One thing I was told is that the people who received the surgery lost about 20 lbs in the first month...so if I lost 10 in 2 weeks, does that mean I had the procedure??? HMMMM?
One little thing I discovered kinda by accident was a diet version of the banana split. I cut up 6 strawberries, some banana and pineapple topped it with a few squirts of redi-whip and drizzled it in chocolate syrup (1 tbsp) and sprinkled walnuts over everything. IT WAS DELICIOUS and under 300 calories and little fat.
I also discovered ground turkey mixed with salsa (1 lb to 1 jar) lay on a bed of lettuce, top with cheese and sour cream (uncrunchy taco salad). If you need the crunch, use 2 taco shells (120 calories instead of high fat high calorie tortilla chips). I sometimes add refried or plain black beans. Good stuff!
I am trying to change my mind about food, be accountable by tracking what I eat and moving my overinflated booty :) By the way, if you hate exercising, try Wii Fit! It is FUN! It is an investment (I bought mine off craigs list and saved $) I also bought a Learn to Salsa Dance video. So far it's working. If the TOGA is only 1 leg in my tripod of success, then I must incorporate the other 2 legs...diet and exercise. Without them, the tripod will not work!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Feb 26, 2009
Okay, so I am down 3 more lbs BUT since I was up 2, it is really only 1. I am still uncertain as to my total weight loss because I cannot remember what I weighed day of surgery.
I have to come to terms with the fact that it has been 15 days since my surgery and I should not expect to see the pounds just falling off. I am completely happy if I lose 1 or 2 lbs a week. It seems like a healthier amount and a more natural process for my body.
Slow and steady wins the race, right?
I have to come to terms with the fact that it has been 15 days since my surgery and I should not expect to see the pounds just falling off. I am completely happy if I lose 1 or 2 lbs a week. It seems like a healthier amount and a more natural process for my body.
Slow and steady wins the race, right?
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Feb 25, 2009
ARGHHHH! I am getting frustrated! I think I have gained 2 lbs! What is going on?? I am really trying to eat less and eat better. Today I consumed 1 slice of bread for breakfast (dry) on my way out the door to a job interview (which went GREAT!) I had 1 cup of spanish rice and a slice of french bread (dry)...dinner was a turkey burrito with salsa and dessert was a cup of sliced up fruit (1/2 banana, 3 strawberries, handful of grapes, some chunks of pineapple and walnuts) and 1 lindor truffle! My caloric intake was under 1300 (yes I am counting! yes I am measuring).
Am I expecting too much to soon? Perhaps....I have my follow up on Friday and will be sure to address all my concerns and follow up in my blog.
I understand that stress plays a big part in hindering weight loss. Lord know, I am under a tremendous amount of stress...especially this past year. My brother was diagnosed with Stage 3c (later upgraded to Stage 4) colon cancer at the ripe old age of 41. He has been in chemo for nearly a year and just finished...we are awaiting more test results and further scans to let us know if he still has detectable cancer cells. (say a prayer for him please) It has been a huge struggle for my family. My father was just diagnosed with Stage 4 Glioblastoma Multiforme (terminal brain cancer) at age 59 in Dec and they gave him 12 months with successful treatment. Both my sister and I have lost our jobs and money is sooooo tight! BUT we are exactly where we are suppose to be right now...helping our father and brother. My sister turned into my fathers executive assistant while I went on a quest to cure brain cancer. Did you know that the venom from a Golden Israeli scorpion can act like a smart bomb and target the glioma and halt it's growth? Who knew? My Dad just received his final radiation treatment and he cannot receive anymore...ever. this is the problem. Surgery did not remove all of the tumor and what is remaining will continue to grow and he will die from cerebral edema. One of the drugs he is on was just in a clinical trail and is now standard treatment for brain tumors.
Anyways, I know that with everything I have had going on it has been easy to put myself last. If I have learned anything from my family's troubles, it is that we have to take care of ourselves FIRST.....we are no good to anyone if we are not healthy.
Am I expecting too much to soon? Perhaps....I have my follow up on Friday and will be sure to address all my concerns and follow up in my blog.
I understand that stress plays a big part in hindering weight loss. Lord know, I am under a tremendous amount of stress...especially this past year. My brother was diagnosed with Stage 3c (later upgraded to Stage 4) colon cancer at the ripe old age of 41. He has been in chemo for nearly a year and just finished...we are awaiting more test results and further scans to let us know if he still has detectable cancer cells. (say a prayer for him please) It has been a huge struggle for my family. My father was just diagnosed with Stage 4 Glioblastoma Multiforme (terminal brain cancer) at age 59 in Dec and they gave him 12 months with successful treatment. Both my sister and I have lost our jobs and money is sooooo tight! BUT we are exactly where we are suppose to be right now...helping our father and brother. My sister turned into my fathers executive assistant while I went on a quest to cure brain cancer. Did you know that the venom from a Golden Israeli scorpion can act like a smart bomb and target the glioma and halt it's growth? Who knew? My Dad just received his final radiation treatment and he cannot receive anymore...ever. this is the problem. Surgery did not remove all of the tumor and what is remaining will continue to grow and he will die from cerebral edema. One of the drugs he is on was just in a clinical trail and is now standard treatment for brain tumors.
Anyways, I know that with everything I have had going on it has been easy to put myself last. If I have learned anything from my family's troubles, it is that we have to take care of ourselves FIRST.....we are no good to anyone if we are not healthy.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Feb 23, 2009
This is soooo exciting....people are finding my blogs and following them. I hope people who are in the study will create blogs for me to follow as well.
I have been away for a few days and had no internet so I will try to sum everything up for you. It has been a challenge. I can most assuredly eat more than they say which has me questioning whether or not I have had the procedure. It isn't like I am overeating like I used to, I just keep comparing my portions to that of someone who has had a gastric bypass. I have a follow up on Friday and will check with them regarding realistic portion sizes.
Today, my sister and I had dinner with my brother and his 2 sons. We went to Culvers and I was able to eat a butter burger deluxe (double) and half my fries. I was full, but it seems to me like a lot of food. Normally, I would have ate all the fries and chased it with something sweet :0
One thing I am struggling with is not having a job....I have been unemployed since Jan 6 and all this free time makes me somewhat bored...being bored leads to thoughts of food....thoughts of food leads to compulsions which turn to cravings and I cave in every time! I am really trying to make a conscience effort to do the right things but it isn't always easy. Food is just too good :)
We have all heard it before.."nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" ... "eat to live, don't live to eat". Easier said than done. But isn't everything worthwhile?
I am working on a pic and once I weigh in on Friday, I will post the results.
I have been away for a few days and had no internet so I will try to sum everything up for you. It has been a challenge. I can most assuredly eat more than they say which has me questioning whether or not I have had the procedure. It isn't like I am overeating like I used to, I just keep comparing my portions to that of someone who has had a gastric bypass. I have a follow up on Friday and will check with them regarding realistic portion sizes.
Today, my sister and I had dinner with my brother and his 2 sons. We went to Culvers and I was able to eat a butter burger deluxe (double) and half my fries. I was full, but it seems to me like a lot of food. Normally, I would have ate all the fries and chased it with something sweet :0
One thing I am struggling with is not having a job....I have been unemployed since Jan 6 and all this free time makes me somewhat bored...being bored leads to thoughts of food....thoughts of food leads to compulsions which turn to cravings and I cave in every time! I am really trying to make a conscience effort to do the right things but it isn't always easy. Food is just too good :)
We have all heard it before.."nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" ... "eat to live, don't live to eat". Easier said than done. But isn't everything worthwhile?
I am working on a pic and once I weigh in on Friday, I will post the results.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Feb 21, 2009
Sorry it has been a few days...I really wanted to try to post everyday BUT sometimes life gets a little busy :)
I really haven't been hungry like before and yet I continue to eat 3-4 meals a day because I have the urge to. Obviously they are all small and the scale is operating at a snails pace! It is moving in the right direction...down so I am happy.
I have started tracking the food I eat everyday with this awesome website....mydailyplate.com.
It is free and easy once you get going. I want to lose 3 lbs a week so I can consume around 1600 calories a day. I am using this as just another tool to help me with my weight loss. The surgery is not going to work if I consume high calorie foods in small amounts and the procedure is not the answer/cure. I have to be diligent in my efforts for this to be effective. It is about changing your life and eating habits!
My sister had gastric bypass and had major complications and a lot of interesting side effects (dumping, puking, hair loss etc) so I knew I did not want to go that route BUT when I decided to participate in the study, I thought that the way I would have to eat is similar to that of my sister. NOT SO! Because the surgery is simply making a smaller pouch in our stomach rather than rerouting and removal of major organs, food is still processed the same as always. I have to watch the amount of food that I eat at one sitting because if I eat too much, I feel really uncomfortable and I worry about doing damage. Can you undo the toga? hmmm?
Hi Yolanda!!! It is so great that you found my blog! I was hoping to create a network of people who are in the study so we can compare experiences/information. Please create a blog about yours...it kinda makes you accountable which can help:) Where are you having the surgery? Please feel free to ask q's and I would like to follow your blogs.
Good Luck to you!!!
Kathy
I really haven't been hungry like before and yet I continue to eat 3-4 meals a day because I have the urge to. Obviously they are all small and the scale is operating at a snails pace! It is moving in the right direction...down so I am happy.
I have started tracking the food I eat everyday with this awesome website....mydailyplate.com.
It is free and easy once you get going. I want to lose 3 lbs a week so I can consume around 1600 calories a day. I am using this as just another tool to help me with my weight loss. The surgery is not going to work if I consume high calorie foods in small amounts and the procedure is not the answer/cure. I have to be diligent in my efforts for this to be effective. It is about changing your life and eating habits!
My sister had gastric bypass and had major complications and a lot of interesting side effects (dumping, puking, hair loss etc) so I knew I did not want to go that route BUT when I decided to participate in the study, I thought that the way I would have to eat is similar to that of my sister. NOT SO! Because the surgery is simply making a smaller pouch in our stomach rather than rerouting and removal of major organs, food is still processed the same as always. I have to watch the amount of food that I eat at one sitting because if I eat too much, I feel really uncomfortable and I worry about doing damage. Can you undo the toga? hmmm?
Hi Yolanda!!! It is so great that you found my blog! I was hoping to create a network of people who are in the study so we can compare experiences/information. Please create a blog about yours...it kinda makes you accountable which can help:) Where are you having the surgery? Please feel free to ask q's and I would like to follow your blogs.
Good Luck to you!!!
Kathy
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Feb 18, 2009
Yesterday was tough! I kept trying to push the envelope with food to see if I could tell what would happen if I overate. I don't know if it is a self sabotage thing with me or not BUT I always do this. The not knowing for sure whether I have had the procedure is killing me! Yes, I am eating less BUT it seems I can eat more than what they told me with no real side effect like described in all the info.
Anyways, if I am going to do this I have to accept the fact that I will not know, with 100% certainty, until the study is over. Period! No more second guessing and trying to out smart everyone and prove to them and myself that I know...I figured it out so...HA !!!
Today I ate exactly 1/2 cup cottage cheese, 1/2 cup pineapple and 1 hard boiled egg in a 4.5 hour period. The scale shows me down either 6.5 or 7.5 lbs so I guess something is working!
Anyways, if I am going to do this I have to accept the fact that I will not know, with 100% certainty, until the study is over. Period! No more second guessing and trying to out smart everyone and prove to them and myself that I know...I figured it out so...HA !!!
Today I ate exactly 1/2 cup cottage cheese, 1/2 cup pineapple and 1 hard boiled egg in a 4.5 hour period. The scale shows me down either 6.5 or 7.5 lbs so I guess something is working!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Day Four & Five.....Feb 16, 2009
Yesterday and today were somewhat challenging. Both were busy days revolving around food. I really had no idea on how much I thought about and looked forward to eating good food with my family. It is what we do. It was Manny's birthday today so I made him breakfast in bed...2 eggs, 2 waffles, 2 pieces of toast and 4 pieces of bacon with OJ and coffee. I ate a waffle and piece of bacon and wasn't really stuffed but I was more than satisfied. (Why do I feel the need to be stuffed after meals?) Anyways....my family is coming for Manny's b-day dinner. I made one of my favorite meals....authentic Argentinian empanadas with both saffron rice and Spanish rice to be followed with of course, blueberry cake and ice cream. MMMMMM !!!!!!!!!!!! This is a meal I would have loaded onto a plate and eaten until I couldn't move BUT not today. I ate 1 empanada and some rice. I was actually sad that I couldn't eat more. It isn't that I was so full or anything, I am afraid to stretch the pouch and pop staples. I mean, why go through all of this to only undo everything? I have spent my life eating exactly what I wanted and more than I ever should've thus my obesity! I never really thought I had that big of a problem but obviously I was out of control....I needed to take such a drastic step to control my weight. I thought getting the surgery would be such an easy fix but it has really made me re-think everything and forced me to deal with my disease of obesity.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Day Three....Feb 14th, 2009
Ok....I am now convinced I have had the surgery. I turned down a mini chocolate cupcake with butter cream frosting...didn't even want it! Believe me, that is the FIRST time EVER that that has happened! Proof Positive!
This morning, I tried a scrambled egg with some cheese and half a piece of toast. Could not believe that I was satisfied with such a small amount of food but I was. A typical weekend breakfast, prior to surgery, was a 2 egg loaded omelette, 2 pieces of toast, 4 pieces of bacon and a glass of OJ. It seems like this is about 2 days worth of food for me now! I didn't eat anything else until dinner because I was not hungry!
I have a social engagement tomorrow which requires me supplying food for 8 people. My brother in law bought a new house so some members of my family are heading out to help him and check out his new digs. I have decided to make "walking tacos". So tonight I prepared all the meat and put all the toppings into containers. Well...I went ahead and made one for myself for dinner and I couldn't believe that one was actually too much for me. I was stuffed! PTS (prior to surgery), I could have eaten 3 or 4 (5?) with out hesitation! The stuffed feeling I felt after the taco was very uncomfortable. It took a while after I had finished for me to feel so stuffed and I have to admit I was nervous. What if I had eaten too much and popped something outta place???? I have heard of people starting to stretch the area too quickly and tearing the staples...hope that doesn't happen. I have to really watch what amount of food I take in and probably slow it down a bit. It really is becoming apparent that I have to make these changes for real!
This morning, I tried a scrambled egg with some cheese and half a piece of toast. Could not believe that I was satisfied with such a small amount of food but I was. A typical weekend breakfast, prior to surgery, was a 2 egg loaded omelette, 2 pieces of toast, 4 pieces of bacon and a glass of OJ. It seems like this is about 2 days worth of food for me now! I didn't eat anything else until dinner because I was not hungry!
I have a social engagement tomorrow which requires me supplying food for 8 people. My brother in law bought a new house so some members of my family are heading out to help him and check out his new digs. I have decided to make "walking tacos". So tonight I prepared all the meat and put all the toppings into containers. Well...I went ahead and made one for myself for dinner and I couldn't believe that one was actually too much for me. I was stuffed! PTS (prior to surgery), I could have eaten 3 or 4 (5?) with out hesitation! The stuffed feeling I felt after the taco was very uncomfortable. It took a while after I had finished for me to feel so stuffed and I have to admit I was nervous. What if I had eaten too much and popped something outta place???? I have heard of people starting to stretch the area too quickly and tearing the staples...hope that doesn't happen. I have to really watch what amount of food I take in and probably slow it down a bit. It really is becoming apparent that I have to make these changes for real!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Day Two...Feb 13th 2009
Today I feel almost sure I have had the procedure but still not quit convinced. Wasn't really hungry today and ate (drank, really) very little. I was excited to step on the scale this morning and see if I had lost any weight but my excitement soon turned to disappointment...I was exactly the same weight 5 days ago! What is going on??? I haven't chewed food in nearly a week! How many calories are in broth anyways? My sister tells me to be patient because I just had surgery and my body is adjusting to the change. Hmmmmm?
So far, I am handling the adjustment to food, or lack there of it, very well. 2 days prior to the surgery, I was obsessing about food I wish I had eaten the week or so before I began the liquid diet....greek pizza, chicago dogs, chinese take out...whatever, but that seems to have subsided. Now I just can't wait until I can eat some cottage cheese or yogurt, anything thicker than broth :)
So far, I am handling the adjustment to food, or lack there of it, very well. 2 days prior to the surgery, I was obsessing about food I wish I had eaten the week or so before I began the liquid diet....greek pizza, chicago dogs, chinese take out...whatever, but that seems to have subsided. Now I just can't wait until I can eat some cottage cheese or yogurt, anything thicker than broth :)
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Day One
Today I may or may not have had the Toga procedure...I am #5 or #6 in a double blind study and have not yet figured out if I received the device or not. I started the liquid diet 2 days prior to my scheduled surgery date, Feb 11th, 2009. The first day of the liquid diet was absolute HELL....I scoured the Internet looking for anything that I could chew that still was considered a clear liquid. There is nothing! The following day was much easier. (hint: strain soups...has more flavor than plain broth).
Day of surgery...arrived at 5:30 am (yikes) and was ushered into prep. The staff was efficient and friendly. All very curious about this promising new procedure. I entered the surgical room and don't remember anything until I woke up in another room with a very sore throat! I begged for water but was only given a small pink sponge soaked in water...arghhhh! I fell in and out of sleep for about 2 hours and was finally transported to my room. As the anesthesia wore off, I became very excited! Did I have it??? I really felt nothing except a sore, very sore throat!
As the staff came in to check on me, I was relentless in my pursuit to find out if any of them know if I did indeed have it done. NO ONE WOULD EVEN GIVE ME A CLUE (c'mon, blink once for "yes")...they said it was double blinded and that the only people who knew were the people performing the surgery. OK, I can deal with this. I will find out eventually, right?
I was released around 12:00 today and felt great until around 8:00 or so. My muscles in my abdomen felt like I had done 100 crunches, my neck was stiff, my throat was kind of burning and I felt very chilled. Was this a good sign? Maybe I did have the procedure. I thought I would find out for myself so I made some oatmeal (runny...and not yet allowed) I ate it and didn't feel much (shit...I didn't get the procedure). Now this oatmeal is the first thing I have actually had that wasn't a true clear liquid in 4 days...I wanted to know if it would make me feel full because it seemed that the broths and juices just go right through me and I feel empty, not hungry, just empty. I also drank a liter of water over the course of 10 hours and I did begin to feel very full
(hmmm...maybe I did get the procedure?). I am going to go to bed now and start tomorrow following the strict guidelines of the diet plan and see where that gets me. I plan on posting my daily experiences to share with others in the study and I would welcome the sharing of info, tips and thoughts on this process.
Day of surgery...arrived at 5:30 am (yikes) and was ushered into prep. The staff was efficient and friendly. All very curious about this promising new procedure. I entered the surgical room and don't remember anything until I woke up in another room with a very sore throat! I begged for water but was only given a small pink sponge soaked in water...arghhhh! I fell in and out of sleep for about 2 hours and was finally transported to my room. As the anesthesia wore off, I became very excited! Did I have it??? I really felt nothing except a sore, very sore throat!
As the staff came in to check on me, I was relentless in my pursuit to find out if any of them know if I did indeed have it done. NO ONE WOULD EVEN GIVE ME A CLUE (c'mon, blink once for "yes")...they said it was double blinded and that the only people who knew were the people performing the surgery. OK, I can deal with this. I will find out eventually, right?
I was released around 12:00 today and felt great until around 8:00 or so. My muscles in my abdomen felt like I had done 100 crunches, my neck was stiff, my throat was kind of burning and I felt very chilled. Was this a good sign? Maybe I did have the procedure. I thought I would find out for myself so I made some oatmeal (runny...and not yet allowed) I ate it and didn't feel much (shit...I didn't get the procedure). Now this oatmeal is the first thing I have actually had that wasn't a true clear liquid in 4 days...I wanted to know if it would make me feel full because it seemed that the broths and juices just go right through me and I feel empty, not hungry, just empty. I also drank a liter of water over the course of 10 hours and I did begin to feel very full
(hmmm...maybe I did get the procedure?). I am going to go to bed now and start tomorrow following the strict guidelines of the diet plan and see where that gets me. I plan on posting my daily experiences to share with others in the study and I would welcome the sharing of info, tips and thoughts on this process.
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