Day Four & Five.....Feb 16, 2009

Yesterday and today were somewhat challenging. Both were busy days revolving around food. I really had no idea on how much I thought about and looked forward to eating good food with my family. It is what we do. It was Manny's birthday today so I made him breakfast in bed...2 eggs, 2 waffles, 2 pieces of toast and 4 pieces of bacon with OJ and coffee. I ate a waffle and piece of bacon and wasn't really stuffed but I was more than satisfied. (Why do I feel the need to be stuffed after meals?) Anyways....my family is coming for Manny's b-day dinner. I made one of my favorite meals....authentic Argentinian empanadas with both saffron rice and Spanish rice to be followed with of course, blueberry cake and ice cream. MMMMMM !!!!!!!!!!!! This is a meal I would have loaded onto a plate and eaten until I couldn't move BUT not today. I ate 1 empanada and some rice. I was actually sad that I couldn't eat more. It isn't that I was so full or anything, I am afraid to stretch the pouch and pop staples. I mean, why go through all of this to only undo everything? I have spent my life eating exactly what I wanted and more than I ever should've thus my obesity! I never really thought I had that big of a problem but obviously I was out of control....I needed to take such a drastic step to control my weight. I thought getting the surgery would be such an easy fix but it has really made me re-think everything and forced me to deal with my disease of obesity.